Some Words to Heal the Broken Heart

Shaykh ul-Islaam ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullaah
Taken from "Diseases of the Hearts and their Cures

As for the sickness of desire and passionate love then this is the soul loving that which would harm it coupled
with this is a hatred of that which would benefit it.

Passionate love is a psychological sickness, and when it’s effects become noticeable on the body, it becomes
a sickness that afflicts the mind also. Either by afflicting the mind by the likeness of melancholy, or afflicting the
 body through weakness and emancipation. But the purpose here is to discuss its effect on the heart, for
passionate love is the fundament that makes the soul covet that which would harm it, similar to the one
weak of body who covets that which harms it, and if he is not satiated by that then he is grieved, and if he
 is satiated then his sickness increases. The same applies to the heart afflicted with this love, for it is harmed
 by its connection to the loved, either by seeing, hearing, touching or even thinking about it. And if he were to
 curb the love then the heart is hurt and grieved by this, and if he gives in to the desire then the sickness
becomes stronger and becomes a means through which the grievance is increased.

In the hadeeth concerning the saying of Moosa reported by Wahb*, which is recorded by Imam
Ahmad in az-Zuhd:
Allah says: Indeed I drive away My friends from the delights of this world and its opulence and
 comfort just as the compassionate shepherd drives away his camel from the dangerous grazing lands.
And indeed I make them avoid its tranquility and livelihood, just as the compassionate shepherd makes
his camel to avoid the resting placers wherein it would be easy prey. This is not because I consider them
 to be insignificant, but so they may complete their portion of My kindness in safety and abundance, the
delights of the world will not attract him and neither would desires overcome him.

*Wahb ibn Munabbih is a noble taabi’ee, but this hadeeth is reported from him directly to the Prophet (saaw)
and is not authentic.

Therefore the only cure for the sick lies in his removing the sickness by removing this blameworthy
 love from his heart.

There are some whose hearts contain the disease of desire and whose perceptions are only skin
deep. When the object of the desire submits, the sickness is satiated, and this satiation strengthens
 the desire and pursuit of the object and hence strengthens the sickness. This is in contrast to the one
 whose objective is not met, for this failure results in the removing the satiation that would strengthen
the sickness and thereby the desire is weakened, as is the love. This is because the person definitely
 intends that there be action accompanying his desire, for otherwise all his desire would be is just
whisperings of the soul, unless there is some speech or looking accompanying this.

As for the one who sis afflicted with this passionate love but holds back and is patient, then indeed
Allah will reward him for his taqwa as occurs in the hadeeth:
That the one who passionately loves someone yet holds back, conceals this and is patient, then dies
upon this, will be a martyr.

(A da’eef hadeeth . refer to the discussion concerning its authenticity in al-Jawaab al-Kaafee and
Rawdha al-Muhibbeen of Ibn al Qayyim and Silsilah ad-Da’eefah of al-Albaanee.)
This hadeeth is known to be the report of Yahya al-Qataat from Mujaahid from Ibn Abbas from the
Prophet (saaw) but it is problematic and such a hadeeth is not to be depended upon.
But it is known from the evidences of the Shareeah that if one were to hold back from performing that
which is unlawful, be it looking, speaking or acting, and he conceals this and does not articulate it so
as not to fall into that which is prohibited and he is patient in his obedience to Allah and keeps away
from disobedience to Allah, despite the pain that his heart feels due to this passionate love (similar to
 the case of the one who is patient through a calamity), then indeed this person would gain the same
reward as those who have feared Allah and been patient.

Verily, he who fears Allah and is patient, then surely Allah makes not the reward of the doers good to
be lost. [Surah Yusuf: Ayah 90]
But as for him who feared the standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil
desires and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. [Surah an-Naaziaat: Ayah 40]
When the soul loves something, it will do all it can to attain it, so the one who does this out of having
 a blameworthy love or hatred then this action of his would be sinful. For example, his hating a person
due to envying him and thereby harming whosoever is linked to that person.

As one poet affected by this said:
For the sake of a Sudanese girl he loved Sudan to the point that he loved the black dogs due to
 his love of her.
Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah’s al Fawaaid (p111-112)
“The slave is not afflicted with a punishment greater in severity then the hardening of the heart
and being distant from Allah. For the Fire was created to melt the hardened heart. The most distant
 heart from Allah is the heart which is hardened. If the heart becomes hardened, the eye becomes dry.
If four matters are exceeded in quantity, beyond what is necessary, the heart shall become hardened:
Food, sleep, speech and sexual intercourse. A body afflicted by disease does not derive nourishment
 from food or water, similarly a heart diseased by desire does not benefit from admonishment and
exhortation.

Whosoever desires to purify his heart, then let him prefer Allah to his desires.
The heart which is clinging to its desires is veiled from Allah, commensurate to the degree
 that it is attached to them, the hearts are the vessels of Allah upon his earth, hence the most
beloved of them to him, are the ones most compassionate, pure and resistant to deviation.
They (the transgressors) preoccupied their hearts [in the pursuance] of the Dunya, would that they
 preoccupied them with Allah and the hereafter, then surely they would have reflected upon the intended
 meaning of his poignant words and verses. Their hearts would have returned to their masters with
wisdom, marvelously curious and [in possession] of the rarest of precious gems.

If the heart is nourished with remembrance, its thirst quenched with contemplation and cleansed
from corruption, it shall witness remarkable and wondrous matters, inspiring wisdom.
Not every individual who is endowed with knowledge and wisdom, and assumes its character is form
 amongst its people. Rather the people of knowledge and wisdom are those who infused life into their
 hearts by slaying their desires. As for the one who slays his heart and vitalized his desires, then
 knowledge and wisdom is naked upon his tongue.

The destruction of the heart occurs by security [in this Dunya] and negligence, its fortification occurs
 by fear and remembrance. If the heart renounces the pleasures of the Dunya, it settles upon the
[pursuance of] pleasures of the Hereafter, and amongst those who call towards it.
Should the heart become content with the pleasures of the Dunya, those pleasures
 [of the hereafter] cease [to continue].

Yearning for Allah and his meeting is like the gentle breeze blowing upon the heart, extinguishing
the blaze of the Dunya. Whosoever caused his heart to settle with his Lord shall be in a state,
 clam and tranquil, and whosoever sent it amongst the people shall be disturbed and excessively
perturbed.

For the love of Allah shall not enter a heart, which contains the love of this world, except as a camel,
which passes through the eye of a needle.

Hence, the most beloved servant before Allah is the one whom He places in His servitude,
whom He selects for His love, whom He causes to purify his worship for Him, dedicates his
objectives for Him, his tongue for His remembrance, and his limbs for His service.
The heart becomes sick, as the body becomes sick, and its remedy is al-Tawbah and
protection [from transgression].

It becomes rusty as a mirror becomes rusty, and its clarity is obtained by remembrance.
It becomes naked as the body becomes naked, and its beautification is at-Taqwa.
 It becomes hungry and thirsty as the body becomes hungry and thirst, and its food
and drink are knowledge, love, dependence, repentance and servitude.